Conbini food reviews: soy sauce cup noodles

by Ben D-T

For the second ever Conbini food review I’m trying something a little more ordinary than the fruits sandwich I had last time: cup noodles.

Now before we start, a short sidenote: it took me two attempts to do this review. During the first attempt I managed to clumsily knock the entire cup of just about ready to eat noodles off of my table. It first landed on my foot and then fell onto the floor. None of it was edible. In the end all I got for my troubles was a second degree burn.

The second time around, the following day in fact, I was able get through the noodles burn free. They were soy sauce flavour, about as regular and standard a flavour of cup noodles you can get. It tasted of quite literally what it said on the cup, of soy sauce. I like to imagine there’s a group of scientists in some hidden away lab tasked with making the perfect little mix of powder for these noodles; the brown-ish dust that gives you nothing less but certainly nothing more than what you expected.

The noodles themselves leave a lot to be desired. They’re thin and springy they don’t soak up much of the flavour. They’re chewy and become a bit of a mushy mess in your mouth if you have too many at once. By no means terrible, but we have to high standards here at Conbini food reviews, and these noodles just do not cut it.

You’ll notice in the photo of the noodles above that there’s small bits of meat and eggs. What this meat is, I honestly couldn’t tell you. I assume it’s pork…anyway the meat and eggs come dried, but add water and before your eyes they become soft and edible. It’s hard to describe the meat, it tastes of not very much and has a weird chewiness. The eggs I can describe quite easily; you know those yellow washing up spongers that have the rougher green side? Imagine you picked off bits of the yellow sponge and put them in some noodles. Same feel, same taste as these eggs.

Eagled eyed readers will notice that I removed the prawns from the noodles. This is a common practice I’ve undertaken ever since examining one set of dried prawns and seeing the black line down the back of every single one. You could not possibly get me to eat them, so I will not take them into consideration as part of this review.

These noodles are okay. They’re not the best instant noodles around by any means, but they’ll do in a pinch. In three words: basic but reliable. Rating? 13.5 out of 27.